On January 29, 2005, my doctor told me to stop working. He said I had become disabled due to the problems associated with my obesity; severe sleep apnea, major (acute) depression, high blood pressure, osteoarthritis, nocturnal urinary stress incontinence, hyperlipidemia, and cold-air-induced asthma. The most difficult for me was the depression. I was at the end. I did not know why I should keep trying to live, as I’d tried to lose weight for my entire life. (To the point of earning certifications in teaching water aerobics, and designing a program for plus-sized folks, as well as learning how to be a personal trainer…all for naught.) My body betrayed me once again, and I gave up. 42 diets and exercise programs since I was six years old had led me to the conclusion that life, on January 29, 2005, was no longer worth living.

Fast forward to July 31, 2007. My severe depression was in remission (had been for a year plus), though my other co-morbidities had not resolved. In fact, I weighed in at 440 pounds, a BMI of 73, when I checked into the hospital for my Duodenal Switch weight loss surgery.

Fast forward (again) to December 27, 2007. Five months after surgery, already 80 pounds lighter. I no longer walk with a cane. I can buckle my seatbelt now, and I can stand on my two feet for more than three minutes without my back seizing up in pain. I can walk now. (I used to take those scooters around Target, Costco, and the grocery store.) I wasn’t able to cook myself anything because I could not stand up at the stove long enough. I used to go for fast-food. Not good for me, but what else was I going to eat on my budget, and without standing up?

I think of myself as one of the walking wounded, but healing. Healing mentally and physically from years of self-denigration, societal contempt and verbal abuse, and discrimination.

I currently love life. I love living. I know I am here for a reason, and I’m continually re-purposing my life and myself.

We’ll see how my future unfolds soon enough. I’m grateful for today and for my weight loss to this point.

I hope to educate others still without hope of breaking out of the prison of morbid obesity.

My profile has links for learning about the Duodenal Switch weight loss surgery. Some animations, some PowerPoint presentations, and several with written descriptions. There's also a thread there regarding eating as a post-op. Enjoy!

http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/zeebs/